8/30/2008
3:58 am
And you do it like this!
RE:
sleep deprivation
its my 455th post. its 0358hrs on 30th of august now.i've got nothing but time to kill.
you would probably be wondering what the hell am i doing up so early in the morning. the fact is i've slept yet and im going to work soon. taxi will be here in 50 mins. goddamn!
i've been having sleeping problems lately. especially with the exams nearing, im always disturbed with alot of scarry thoughts each time i close my eyes to wonder to lala land. but it just keeps me awake and its really irritating me. i need the sleep.i need the rest. i've even thought of going to the doctor and make him prescribe me sleeping pills. but some advise me against that.they do not want me to become independent on it.
i was tinking like maybe i should give it a try. desperate times means desperate measures. i dun realli care if i get dependent on it. its just for the time being.hopefully after A levels im able to sleep peacefully then.im just worried and lately this worrying thing has been increasing to drastic level. which just provide me with another thing to worry about. sleeping!
insomniac? i dun tink so. at times i can realli sleep like a baby.some people say im a morning person but to me i dun realli tink so.dats because i can hardly wake up and go to school on time.but the effort is there!our body has a internal alarm clock. when u wake up a certain time regularly, ur body recognises it and without the alarm clock ringing, u will wake up naturally.i just have this habit that once i wake up or get disturbed from my sleep its even harder to continue it.especially when my room is all bright.
its not that im being choosy or anithing but when i sleep, it has to be really quiet and dark and undisturbed for the next few hours so that i can really rest.hence this is why i say i sleep like a baby.this is ofcourse on a normal day. on days that im super tired physically and mentally, i can just sleep despite a bomb exploding beside me.how i wld do anithing to sleep like my brother. u can shout in his ear and wake him up but the next moment hes back sleeping.food for though, sleeping excessively can cause health problems.
the best part i like about not getting enough sleep is that i'll be super sleepy by late afternoon.i planned to go to ubin after work today but with me not sleeping, i doubt i can find the ability to resist being fuckin cranky.YES i get cranky without enough sleep.sad fact but true.like how hulk gets angry with provocation, i turn into hulk when i lack sleep.its scarry and i hate such a trait in me!
hopefully i can last through work without getting caught sleeping somewhere.and now im feeling realli sleepy already.i hate this! I HATE THIS!!! i really want to sleep now but there is not enough time. its getting really bad. im tired of counting sleep to sleep. yes, i do such a thing literally but with imaginary sheeps. suddenly i have this urge to ask my bro to call my manager and cook up a story that im in hospital for super high fever. its just sooo bloody tempting. but arrrgh! ive been trusted this responsibility. besides im psyching up myself to be a good samaritan and the fasting month is a stepping stone. hopefully with the help of god im able to conquer my desires and continue it for the rest of my life.
did you know that before islam, religions are based on skin colour, caste and status. islam is unique that u can be anybody but if ur a muslim, ur as equal as any other tom dick or harry.its a good practice to unite people despite differences. we are all one under a faith. i saw this thing on a documentary on national geographic 's prophet mohammed.
and in case u racist bastard start saying that prophet mohammed married young virgins for his own desire, you are wrong! he married them because he help them as their husbands died in wars fighting for islam. all in all he had 11 wives of which 3/4 are for the above mentioned reason.so do ur research before making judgements. he is not as demented as some people are nowadays. unlike people who torture slaves, he is nice to them. he preaches unity in believing in one god and he is the messengger of god. just dat simple. there is no forcing to convert to islam, no missionaries to brainwash and no incentives for believing in allah. its just u and ur relation to god which will determine ur life after death. such a documentary had such a big impact on me.
i feel the need to relinquish my faith and lead a better life. why wait any longer, the holiest month is just around the corner. just one wish, help me god.
till den....(0430hrs 3oth aug 2008)
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________