11/30/2008
5:53 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
For all those times, Mr Malikidudekz
He was a good man. Fulfilling dreams of his parents. His dad said to me, he loves him very much. so much that he bought him a bike to please him. His dad said simple words that fully pierced my heart.
'Love your parents. Love your friends. Take care of yourself so that you dont hurt the others around you. Take his leaving as a lesson for all of you youngsters. That life is precious. Go out and work in the day, come home, pray and sleep at night. Maybe god loves him more than us. So he has to go. I look at his friends and i believe him when he said he mix around with good company.'
with that he ended with a smile and talk to his relatives. u can see pain in his eyes. as much as i was holding back my tears, i can see its even more painful for him. moments later, he wasnt wailing, but the sight of a father tearing at the recollection of his youngest son's passing is more than enought for me to switch myself off because i cant stand sadness. i've seen many deaths before, this suddenly made me realise that death can really be devastating. it really shows who really loves you enough to spare some thoughts for you.
i admit i lost contact with him. i didnt bother much to talk or catch things up. i dont blame him, i blame myself because hes gone now. now i can never get to see his smile again, hear his laughter or listen to his lame jokes which i would always do willingly in secondary school. the times when we play soccer together, or mock each other's CCA. or that one year he spent in the same class with me, exchanging our thoughts and finding of the opposite gender. im daring enought to admit that secondary school life wad the best time of my life. and im just glad that he was a part of it. thus he will always be remembered by me. his nicknames, the way he catches balls in the soccer field. its just so sad i didnt get to meet him in his uniform. by the time i'm in police, i'd be able to meet him as he has already P.O.P-ed. thats not going to happen now. and i'll just have to live on with memories.
its during this times that i start to wonder what happens to my friend after his passing. what will happen me to after my passing. he has shown us that life can end abruptly, anywhere and anytime despite one's best efforts to keep living. maybe his death affected me so much because we are of the same generation. hes my first friend to lose his life to his beloved toy. and maybe because i know him personally enough to cause me that much pain to open my eyes.
i admit, as time goes by this phase will die off. the emotions will dissappear. everybody will move on. but the reason i had to pen this is because i want to remember the emotions im feeling right now when i reread my posts. losing a thousand innocent lives isnt as damaging as losing a single friend. maybe hes passing could be a life changing moment for those who knows him, or even those who dont.
i'll be going for his funeral tomorrow morning. hopefully to do my part to as a form of punishment for not remembering him. and its the least that i could do. i love you, Abdul Malik, and definitely i'll miss you. Semoga tuhan mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohmu, wahai kawanku, amin.
Abdul Malik
25/11/88-30/11/08
A good soccer player, a good student,
a good friend.
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
10:33 am
And you do it like this!
RE:
cease fire
hav i lost the will and skills to enjoy?i always know ways to crack myself up.especially when i have got nothing to worry about. im the life of party when im so in the mood. but wads bothering me. bothering me enough to make me say no. make me wanna work all day, tire myself out and just go home and sleep.
its like my frens all hyped up and im like zombie, just following them around.Before the As, it was hardcore planning.now i feel like all i want is peace, serenity,quality time.
i want to have fun. MY FUN. and believe it or not, at 20! my definition of fun is changing. fuck..
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/27/2008
10:34 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
moments..
do pretty girls fart?
yes they do. a test was set up by the mythbusters team and pretty girls do fart! now who is disgusting?! haha!
i need a new skin. something that is simple. something that shows my regular moods. and definitely something that can allow me to mix both bright and dull coloured fonts.
the rise of the lame-ass movie...
i've been keeping watch of the movies shown on cable. during low viewership hours, they broadcast fucking lame ass movies. and these movies comes in 2 category. the 'aeroplane' scenario and the 'deep forest' scenario. unlike high budget films like 'Wrong Turn' series and 'The Hill Have Eyes' series, the main bulk of those movies are low budget films. and they practically have the same storyline. lets say, somebody transported genetically modified spiders which escapes during mid-flight. these spiders terrorizes the passanggers and maybe killing all the pilots. and somehow they have a spider expert onboard which will fall in love with the air marshall who always handsome and knows wad to do. and either of them or a fellow aircrew will have to land the plane.
the only variable in the movie would be the kind of animal that is being transported. and as usual they are either genetically modified against the law or they have mutated through exposure to radiation or some other shit biohazard. and afew 'suppose-to-be' interesting twist to keep the viewers (hell no! its not me) in suspense.
please la, i know the ending even before they finish casting the initial credits of the movie. to prove my point, there have been movies on spiders,snakes, insects and even zombies and now porcupines. no kidding man.
another sickly act that i have notice in such movies is its always a happy ending.NO MATTER WHAT!! want to know why?! simple. happy ending with the bad guys caught will keep the world at pease, thus there isnt a need for a sequel which has a high possibility of having the same story line as the prequel and/or maybe now its due to human mistake by putting those deadly animal onboard the aircraft.
LAME! the strike should not have ended. reality tv is becoming much more interesting. but not to worry, the likes of spielberg and lucas as well as the endless stupid directors with no idea but to copy off a good storybook but with reputable movie directing skills still has a fighting chance for people to really catch a movie at the cinemas regularly. so i guess, the world continue to spin another round on its axis.
here is a rather peculiar fact. u cant drown cockroaches. ok, maybe not cant, more like most likely. they did a test of leaving 5 cockroaches submerged underwater for 30 mins. and almost a day later, the 'seemingly motionless' cockroaches comes crawling back to life. all bloody 5 of them. cockroaches can hold their breath underwater longer as well as survive a nuclear explosion longer den any other human being. its bloody hell proven, alright.
finally, a day officially set aside for the closure on A levels. a chalet with the library boys and gang was all i need to forgot things and move on. it was awesome, alot of swimming, good barbequed food, plenty of abs-crunching funny games to make my head goes spinning.
its been a long time since i dived into 2 meters of chlorinated water. and sure hell it was fun.
the likes of
poker
cheating
cigarettes
good food
plenty of jabs
sugar
....haha..and the man of the day, justin! thks for the moments. u will always be my half oreo brother. as proclaimed by bulat.
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/26/2008
2:48 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
the deadly concoction
1)deprive me of sleep.
2)make me tired and
3)let me listen to :
-breaking benjamin's 'blow me away'
-nelly's 'here comes the boom'
-fort minor's 'remember the name'
the deadly concoction- increasing my testerone levels, making me agigated easily (short- circuiting my temper), highly prone to violent behaviour with the slightest provocation.
thats why we have to rest well before playing rugby. such situation would only allow us to play the last minute of rugby for the rest of our lives.like how players get banned for biting and stuff like dat. stay calm, focus and den one will play like a gentleman.
the game against national girls wad kind of fun. i was expecting like superhuge butches but my my my....it so wasnt as much as i had expected. they are quite girly bunch. and ofcourse..one had to stand out. the pretty 2nd row by the name of sophie.i admit i purposely stacked out all the way, just waiting for her to piggy the ball. and all the while i tried to be her opposition during normal attack play. and my plan did work alright. i got to tackle her..haha.. it was like falling on a bed.
i want to open up my facebook account again. infact i did. and fuck if it was a piece of paper, i would have burn it. such a was that im such a noob at facebook. now a good thing too. god knows.
i cant understand why ppl are afraid of ghost and ghouls. i doesnt make sense to me. someone once told me that we humans are born without fear. the reason we are wad we are now is because of wad happens in our surrounding which trigger fear in us. for example, a baby sees a cup of hot water and approaches it. the next moment the mom is already screaming at the baby and pulling it away. just dat caused a psychological reaction in our mind that hot is dangerous. this is rather a good form of fear. fear for our own well being. but then comes fear for out own stupidity. the belief of ghost, all this bull of seeing things and for the people who are afraid of the dark. i dare to admit im a pussy myself. but den again, im proud to say that i have overcome such a stupid fear.
firstly, its against my beliefs. besides, i was taught that such beings are just another creation of god. and u shud fear god and not them. furthermore our inability to overcome such fears shows our weakness. thus such weakness will only lead to more fear and finally losing control of oneself mind. bear with me for a moment. bullshit i hear?
trust me, if ur afraid to live in ur own house, i really do pity you. i admit again, i used to. but den i got used to such things. i hear stories abt my house before but i can spend the nite alone in my house sleeping peacefully provided there are no mosquitos. haha!
and maybe my ability to see in the dark is playing to my advantage, but be brave. face ur fears or u shall always be fearful. and worst, fearing to fear itself is becoming and issue. yes, things in this world is getting from worst to the planet of the apes!
so before we become the slave of our own fears, we better tweak our little heart and exchange it with the mighty lion! and never live in fear ever again.
till den, fear not those who isnt around you, but those close enought to hurt you.*rugby tackle!*
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/21/2008
1:35 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
but enjoying life!
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/20/2008
12:46 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
randomise
there i was standing in the fully packed train with baby bash's cyclone blasting in my ear. and to spoil the clubbing atmosphere was this old chinese aunty standing in front of me but facing the same direction as me. and fuck it was close enough for things to happen. and hell i didnt dare to move. when i realise such a situation had arise, i just turn walk to a place where i can stand all by myself and i quickly switch to Roy Jones's Cant be touched. heh!
i dared the sun the wind and the rain just to get my com fixed.how i wish during such time im able to drive a car and it sure did burned a hole in my pocket. well u need money for good stuff.but i would a prefer a laptop because atleast i wont feel so bored at the fact that i can hav access to the cyberworld only at home. a new sata hdd, a new power supple kit. and the funny thing was i went to the computer shop, bought the stuff and like debunk my com there and den, removing wadever bullshit i dun need and soup it all up! ooooo...
i wish i had enough money to build my own supercomputer. like experiment with dual motherboard (never been done b4, only dual processor) and quad 1 gig RAM and purposely overclock it just to see its limit. with all the GeForce latest V cards and top notch creative soundblaster cards. and literally watch the computer burn. well dats just for fun. but after dat i'll want to build one for my own use. one which i will soooo sayang.
besides that, i want to get myself rollerblades. i've already started daydream and stuff. and i've made plan on when to learn to roller blade. i know its like a childhood thing, but yea, i waste my childhood doing something else. i was already planning that since i dun hav school, i'll train rollerblading like late at night. where nobody is around to see...so when im already good at it..hah! i can play during the day or just go to east coast for a roll..chey! if i can do this, den i will have something else to do other den swim when i go to beaches!
damn la...now sooo much time..soo many things to do...but just no money...all because im desperate for driving license.it will be easier as long as it doesnt drag into NS. den it will take ages..
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/16/2008
5:38 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
my neck hurts. i hav no idea why. for the first time today i went to sleep after i came back from work. i feel like discussion my sickest thoughts. but its best if such things are meant for my brains only! haha!
im sooo in love with this song. i dunno why. the melody and the tune give me this soothing feeling. so for now, im still hooked on it.
the funny thing i saw is this comment on youtube abt this song. the user said :
'Careful ladies,
this is one of those baby makers....
Your lips may say no,
but when this plays,everything is yes!'
haha! how cute! and i do agree with this user. i am not really a big fan of usher. i tink of all the songs he made, i only like 2 of them. 'yeah' and now this. its soo hard to please me.
anyways, i was talking to syafiq abt driving. he passed just afew days ago and he was telling me abt his test. when he was talking abt his E-brake moment, i got reminded abt how i almost crashed into a taxi. bloody bastard! as usual, i always have this problem of driving off from a junction. taxis always have been a pain in the ass, honking and being impatient. i was going straight and he was turning left. just as i got my biting point and abt to drove off, he came in from my right side and cut thru infront of me.
it was fucking scary man. i managed to brake just in time. and my instructor start yelling vulgarities at the driver.the funny thing was he said if we were driving a lorry, he would hav stopped me from jambraking. langgar aje tu taxi. and i felt better, dat kind of joke during a tensed moment helped me to relax. thank god.
and can u believe it? hair has started to grow on my recently waxed legs. definitely bloody good news for me! i miss my leg hair. it feels weird when i wear my working pants. because i sweat, the pants stick to my legs.and its soo damn uncomfortable.
i need to organise a soccer meeting. and a testimonial game. the worst part of such things is to get replies. and the sad part is to sacrifice people who cant make it on a stipulated date.
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/15/2008
10:28 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
virgin game
i had a terrible sleep last nite. and its not cause by the weather or my body not working properly or anithing. its caused by an ancient creaure that still exist till today! and it was damn funny man.
last nite was such a bore. i truly had nothing much to do except just slack the nite away. thks to a friend who accompanied me thru smsing i was kept from going insane. i just realised that im the kind who cant stay at home for long. i do only when i go out for long hours. but when i've been at home the previous day, i hav to go out the next day. just stepping out to get some fresh air or anithing. i dunno wad my point was but nvm...dats not impt.
finally, it was damn exciting. the hype out to the game. it was so sad that Mr D couldnt play. i know ur dissapointed. but cheer up bro.i know u would hav been a superstar on the field just now. once again, im not sucking up! haha
eventho we lost, i was quite happy. 24-17. and we had the lead, it sure felt good. to play once again. considering the fact that we or rather i had not train that much, 2 days of no cigarettes really showed alot of difference. i lasted longer that i had expected. and i hav to agree playing 2nd row isnt easy as i had anticipated.
i've played basically all forward position. but playing 2nd row has be the most disgusting. ppl shoving u while u shoving people. haha! but i tink i provided alot of help to my teammates.
thats the beauty of being versatile.when u have played different position before, i kind of get the idea wad that person wants when ur not in his shoes. for example, i used to play prop and i like to sit on the 2nd row before i engage in the scrum. i get a better engaging position when the call is given. so when i was playing 2nd row just now, i made sure i squared up my body so that the prop could sit on me.
im just glad that i received plenty 'pat on the backs' for the little2 things i do. hammering and rucking. giving alot of support. and the best part is people acknowledging them after the game.it makes me feel as if i hav accomplished wad i came there for. and i tot i almost broke my arm. but it was just hyper-extended i tink.its in pain now but nothing much to worry about.a common knocks and bruises.
i miss all of this! all of this. and the best part is there is more to come.i dunno if playing with adults just made the game slower but the game isnt like how it used to be when i was in school. but maybe for now it on my side cause im just about to start getting my fitness back.
full force kickass! how do you defeat an enemy who isnt afraid to die?
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/14/2008
10:15 am
And you do it like this!
RE:
rugby relived for real!
my luck is all back! everything is happening just as i planned.goood goood...everything is back on track. and god is finally smiling upon me!
playing 2nd row for the conference league. im just sooo damn excited! first game coming up this saturday against wanderers. they are called wanderers because they are mostly expats. big size people generally. but thats not the point. size doesnt intimidate me like it use to. not because i've grown bigger but more likely because im playing smarter.
more mass, or shud i say soon to be muscles, is an advantage!haha!
ouh man! i soo miss this feeling! this feeling to be a part of a team. i dun really care if we screw up the season.all i want is to play rugby regularly. before i fly off to lawful land.and that is the other problem.im gg be enlisted before the season finish. how sad.
once in the police force, i cant decide whether to play rugby or maybe try something else. u know...venture into my other interests.
now, finally i have a good enough reason to stop smoking. to get my fitness back in time so that i dun suffer or worst die in NS later. aha! its gg to be so fun visualising and psyche up again! and all that prep! ooooo...
im really excited! ccab 315pm against wanderers.this saturday!
for you...
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/12/2008
9:19 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
new experience
driving was terrible. i forgot everything or maybe i was just too tired and couldnt wait to go home. besides my usual peter isnt around. and they assigned me another peter. a big fat one who smells. maybe its because of dat i got a headache the moment i got in the car. just terrible! and sucky! suddenly driving is driving the fun out of driving! does that make sense?!
it seems fun at first. my first leg waxing. haha! yup. i was done with work, i had nothing to do. and they did a leg wax on me. i've had my legs hair pulled before and all. but it wasnt as painful as this. val said its coz my leg hair are(were) long and curly. bloody hell.
they started out from the back. and it was painful but not 'me- screaming' kind of painful. its like they strip a different spot everytime and every new spot shocked me! i had to flex my legs to prevent them from jerking and luckily kicking their faces.
but by the time they start on the front, it wasnt so bad. i could already withstand the pain and watch them rip my pityful leg hair to shreds.so sad. but it was truly an enriching experience.now i feel like doing it again. den after they are done, the oil and lotion really did damage-control. it was truly soothing.
when i put my pants back on, it felt like i got a new pair of legs. it was very very uncomfortable! my skin felt raw.and i can feel my jeans rubbing against it. it feels so different. and i tot my legs felt lighter. i dunno...maybe i was holding on to 2-3 kilos of leg hair!? haha! i can see all my old scars and wounds. and i didnt know my skin was smooth like dat. but the scars kind of spoilt it all.
besides, having no leg hair dun really look good on me. and i still hav got my hair on my hands. so its kinda creepy. so till i hav my leg hair back, u wont see me in three-quater pants or shorts anytime soon or would you?! heh!
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/10/2008
9:17 am
And you do it like this!
RE:
batam!
the trip to batam was truly family bonding.we get to go shopping, eat and eat and spend the nite telling stories and everything la. and the best part was with my dad around all the time. i wouldnt have second thoughts abt spending time with my family again. let the pics do the talkings...
its her all time favourite pose.
Before!...
After!...
the guys.
that is me swimming and just about to pinch her butt!
no need for introduction.
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________
11/09/2008
10:30 pm
And you do it like this!
RE:
rugby again!
i stood there, all suit and boot up-ed. while he made changes! i stood infront of him, the only one there, hoping to be noticed, given a chance. but he looked everywhere else except me. but i know if i dun open my mouth, no shit is gg to happen! 'sam, i want to play!'. he hesitated, but decided to give me a try.
like i said, when u let a starving tiger loose, he will even eat your bones. i forgot how unfit i was, i forgot how sleepy i was, i forgot how tired i saw. all i could tink of is the get the ball and hit the shit out of everybody. suddenly all the rules, tricks and smart plays flooded my mind.just hours before, i thought i had forgotten to play rugby. i swear i was playing like how i first started. as a prop, just more experience and armed with a better knowlegde of the game. it was useful indeed.
initially i tot i would screw up. give stupid passes, ruck like a wuss and worst, miss tackle.but instead i played better den my expectations. all i wanted was to just play, get hit, have fun. let sweat appear on me, smear grass on my face and attain few bruises and bangs. the exact things im dying to feel once again. but den again, i tink i did made an impression. just enough to get notice and hopefully will lead to more chances.seasons starting soon. and if i get to play just a game, i'll be very happy indeed.
atleast now i hav a reason to get fit.a reason to go out and run, to hit the gym. something to look forward to! i just realised rugby just doesnt stop after MI.i cant wait, to form a team again. i miss playing rugby. and for a starving tiger, a meal is not enough for a lifetime! hah!
and saha, im not sucking up. ur first div standard. wasted if they bench you. if they do bench you...come play with me! if i cant go up...u come down! ahahaha!
________________Your's truly, Nashady__________________